January was a relief compared to all the supposed heartwarming good cheer of December, and despite the fact the weather has made driving a nightmare. Plus, I'm surprisingly good at keeping new year's resolutions. Last year, my resolution was to stop using Tumblr, and I am proud to say that I have been reblog-free for the past 13 months. This year, I think my resolution was a bit more unconscious: to simply stop worrying so much. As you can see in Exhibit A (the preceding paragraph) worrying is one of my natural gifts. It is for most people, I guess. Sometimes a bit of worry can be helpful; it tells me to be cautious and not to take unwise risks, and when to make a decision to change what's making me afraid or dissatisfied. But sometimes it just makes me sad.
My strategy for eliminating--or, let's be realistic, reducing--my worry problem was to become reinvested in things outside myself that I forgot I loved, and to continue finding new things to fall in love with. (Oh no...I'm going to pretend that my use of "reinvested" doesn't have anything to do with my nonstop proofreading of financial reports.)
Here are six things I became (re)invested in during January:
"This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand. Because I don't like women in skirts and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape. So I think this is the best costume for today."
"'The Libra husband is reasonable. He is a born judge, and no other zodiacal type can order his life with so much wisdom.' God! That's all I need: order! That's all I need: an ordered life. You know, a manager. But he's *got* to be a Libran."
"...It's very difficult to keep the line between the past and the present... Do you know what I mean...?"
I loved this movie. I wasn't all that impressed by the first one, but this one was awesome. It definitely felt more mature.
Plus, Jena Malone was great.
It's rare when I enjoy the movie more than the book. I need to remember to really cherish rare moments.
"Always, Mrs. Ramsay felt, one helped oneself out of solitude reluctantly by laying hold of some little odd and end, some sound, some sight. She listened, but it was all very still; cricket was over; the children were in their baths; there was only the sound of the sea. She stopped knitting; she held the long reddish-brown stocking dangling in her hands a moment. She saw the light again. With some irony in her interrogation, for when one woke at all, one's relations changed, she looked at the steady light, the pitiless, the remorseless, which was so much her, yet so little her, which had her at its beck and call...but for all that she thought, watching it with fascination, hypnotized, as if it were stroking with its silver fingers some sealed vessel in her brain whose bursting would flood her with delight, she had known happiness, exquisite happiness, intense happiness, and it silvered the rough waves a little more brightly, as daylight faded, and the blue went out of the sea and it rolled in waves of pure lemon which curved and swelled and broke upon the beach and the ecstasy burst in her eyes and waves of pure delight raced over the floor of her mind and she felt, It is enough! It is enough!"
I cried at the end.
I watched it again the next day and cried again.
"Okay. But, I'm saying, it's like, I don't want to cram in sex or guns or car chases, you know... or characters, you know, learning profound life lessons or growing or coming to like each other or overcoming obstacles to succeed in the end, you know. I mean... The book isn't like that, and life isn't like that. You know, it just isn't. And... I feel very strongly about this."
"You are what you love, not what loves you."
The first thing I ever fell in love with.